For a moment, my presence towers over the room, unable to be smothered.
They’re not all staring at you—
I prepare a disarming grin. No matter how many times my arrival heralds wide eyes, hushed whispers, and coyly disguised smiles, I’ll show up.
“It’s been so long,” I announce into the silence that’s temporarily taken over the room. “I would’ve thought my appearance would be a—welcome surprise.”
A nobleman off to my right recovers first. “Don’t get us wrong, Your Highness,” he offers in appeasement. “It’s certainly a surprise. And I’m sure there are some here who appreciate the excitement.”
As much as his words nettle me, I can’t help but admire the way they’re crafted. No one will ever tell me how they really feel—even if that truth glares harder than the sunlike flicker of the chandeliers above us.
I feel my lips twitch. “Then I’m happy to provide such an entertainment.” I flick my gaze beyond the man, to a balcony jutting off the far side of the room. “I’m sorry I must be taking my leave after so short a time; but there are others I must grace with my presence.”
The babble picks back up again as I glide away. I try to bury any traces of self-consciousness in the sturdy clap of my boots against the floor.
The warm bubble of the ballroom fades as I step outside. A brisk wind tousles my hair. I breathe in the shadows; a cool and welcoming reprieve, like an old friend.
I’m almost alone out here.
A slender figure leans against the far curve of the railing. His feet nestle between the stone pillars, and his elbows dig into the rail, supporting the weight of his hunched body.
I slow my steps, making it to the railing before the boy looks back.
He slides his eyes to me, though he barely moves his head. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
I normally have to force my smiles, but this one blooms soft, small, and natural. “And miss seeing my favorite nephew?”
Quinn snorts as he turns his attention back to the view. The moonlight glitters in dull golden flecks in his hair. “I’m your only nephew.”
I perch my elbows on the railing beside the boy. “Still.”
His delicate features tauten in irritation. The petulant curl of his lips reminds me so much of…myself.
“Why do you look like that?”
Quinn flickers his lashes, then glares down at the railing. “I just—don’t like these kinds of parties.”
“Why not? Everybody loves you.”
The boy picks at a velvety sleeve. “I know…but sometimes, I feel like that’s—a part of the problem. People want to be around me all the time. They want—expect—me to open up. To entertain, explain, flatter. And to enjoy it.”
“It’s normal not to feel totally comfortable with that.”
Quinn puckers his lips. “Not for me. I can’t tell people to screw off, no matter how polite I am.”
“Well, that’s just what our lives are like.” I pause, gauging if the timing would be right for a joke. “At least nobody thinks you killed the king.”
The boy frowns at my bitterly amused smile. “I don’t think you had anything to do with Grandfather’s death.”
I rest a hand on Quinn’s back. Some of his clenched muscles relax. “I’m glad you think so. But that’s beside the point. There’s nothing wrong with you for not enjoying any of that. And I’m sure there’s a way to work around it. Always remember to be polite; but maybe let people know you don’t want to interact any more than necessary?”
My cheeks warm a touch against the cool air. Since when do I know anything about diplomacy?
“Try talking to your father,” I finish in a mumble.
Quinn snorts. “He wouldn’t understand.”
The dark place inside my chest twists. “Don’t say that. And even if he doesn’t get it at first, it’s better to talk. You can get him to understand.”
Do what I didn’t.
I study the darkness in the boy’s eyes. “Do you understand?”
Quinn broods silently. Then, quietly, “Okay. I’ll try.” He shifts, tightening the clamp of his hands on his arms. “But—if I need to talk, and I’m not so sure I can go to anybody else…could I talk to—you?”
That won’t help your image much either.
But I can’t help another smile. “Of course.” I rub my hand along the boy’s back, then let it slide away.
“I don’t think you had anything to do with Grandfather’s death.”
I appreciate the vote of confidence…and I can’t bring myself to shatter it.
I know I couldn’t save myself. But I’ll be damned if I don’t at least try to save the next generation.
Leave a comment